Jesus Teaches Through Termination: Part I

If you are wondering what the title means, see the previous blog. Otherwise, I'll move on to the first thing I learned in being fired.
The day it happened, I came home in shock...mostly due to the fact that I had never been fired before. Soon the shock turned into despair and confusion and a - happy to say - short lived depressed feeling. I had no clue what had just happened and began looking on myself with disgust. The voice of the accuser was hot on my neck and I was listening to his lies. And I wish I could say that I dumped the despair that night. However, it was not until the next morning (Ps. 30:5; Lam. 3:22-23) that the Lord mercifully delivered me by showing me what I was truly concerned with. I had this deep fear of what I was going to have to tell everyone who knew I was working there and what others would think about me. Now, this is ridiculous, because I'm surrounded by a church body at Living Hope that I know - for a fact - loves me. Yet I was still scared and the Lord revealed my sin in this: I have always sought the approval of people much more intensely than I have sought the approval of God. This is a serious problem. In fact, Jesus says that seeking glory from men is something that hinders belief (Jn. 5:44). And this proved true because in the midst of my desire to look flawless, I was unable to believe God's promises of his sovereignty and his own love for me.
I was reminded of the story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50. He was sold into slavery, proclaimed to be dead by his backstabbing brothers, and thrown in jail for something he did not do. And all the while God is sovereign in these things which eventually lead to his becoming 2nd in command in Egypt. At the end of Genesis he says this to his brothers: "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." Joseph saw the sovereign hand of God in all of it...including his wrongful imprisonment. And I can't help but wonder if he dealt with wondering what the outside world thought of the accusations against him. I wonder if the accuser also made him worry about what others would think.
Yet, like I said, the Lord mercifully delivered me. And I praise him for it!! For we have been freed from the judgment of mankind. We need not feel misplaced shame any longer. If we seek righteousness, then we must not listen to the condemnation of the evil one. I am so glad to be learning this lesson in such a strong way. I desire for it to be gone completely and to only seek Jesus' sweet, beautiful face.